I walk this road.
I've spent quite a bit of time working on my family's genealogy. I find it very interesting to discover the details of how my ancestors lived, moved and settled from place to place. I find I can estimate quite a bit from just a few facts recorded in public records.
My favorite thing to look at from time to time is my grandmother's diary dating from 1929 to 1934. She went from high school graduate to wife and expecting mother in those five years. When I read of her outlook on life in those years, I realize she hadn't changed all that much to the time when I knew her as my grandmother.
She wasn't a great author, but I can draw strength and life lessons from this valuable family document. Because she was open enough to write her thoughts down as honestly as she could, I feel I know her so much better than others in the family. I am richer for it, and feel I love her more fully than a lot of my family members outside of my wife and two children.
That was my father's mother. My other grandmother one-upped her. She spoke to me of quite a bit of her past as well as her hopes for me. I enjoyed the fact that though she didn't have it easy, she didn't give the uphill to school story. She told me how she faced things head on without trying to make me feel guilty about my own present life. She didn't write a diary, but spoke to me over coffee on Saturday mornings when I would leave my family sleeping at my mother in law's house to visit with her when I was in the town she lived in.
I was successful to some extent with my father and mother in drawing them out.
The oral history is rich. The stories should be treasured, good or bad. Time has a way of putting perspective on the high emotional and colorful stories. We can draw from these experiences.
I say all that to say this. I want to be open with my family, especially the ones that come after me. Sure, everyone has a desire to leave something behind in an attempt at an immortality that can be pointed to in a book or a song or family heirloom. The lessons and knowledge of the past experiences can be valuable.
I have recently come to know someone in my family that is in school near where I live. A strong desire welled up within me to want to get to know this person and share anything I have. I have come to realize that the openness I was willing to show was well received, but a bit uncomfortable for the recipient. It has to be a two way street. I woke up to this and found I could adjust. Not everyone feels as I do, so I could smother someone.
The machismo in me then kicks in and I think...I don't need to feel rejected or silly, I'll just turn away.
A couple I knew when I was overseas in the military had taught me about being open with people. You take a risk when you reveal yourself to others. You leave yourself open to possible hurt. They also taught me and I was soon to find out that the rewards of that lifestyle far outweighed the hurt.
The times I felt hurt or as I said above rejected or foolish, I realize tell me I am living more fully than if I were so careful of what others thought of me. This openness is who I want to be. To live this way is a gradual change and never overnight, but so far I can walk this road.
My favorite thing to look at from time to time is my grandmother's diary dating from 1929 to 1934. She went from high school graduate to wife and expecting mother in those five years. When I read of her outlook on life in those years, I realize she hadn't changed all that much to the time when I knew her as my grandmother.
She wasn't a great author, but I can draw strength and life lessons from this valuable family document. Because she was open enough to write her thoughts down as honestly as she could, I feel I know her so much better than others in the family. I am richer for it, and feel I love her more fully than a lot of my family members outside of my wife and two children.
That was my father's mother. My other grandmother one-upped her. She spoke to me of quite a bit of her past as well as her hopes for me. I enjoyed the fact that though she didn't have it easy, she didn't give the uphill to school story. She told me how she faced things head on without trying to make me feel guilty about my own present life. She didn't write a diary, but spoke to me over coffee on Saturday mornings when I would leave my family sleeping at my mother in law's house to visit with her when I was in the town she lived in.
I was successful to some extent with my father and mother in drawing them out.
The oral history is rich. The stories should be treasured, good or bad. Time has a way of putting perspective on the high emotional and colorful stories. We can draw from these experiences.
I say all that to say this. I want to be open with my family, especially the ones that come after me. Sure, everyone has a desire to leave something behind in an attempt at an immortality that can be pointed to in a book or a song or family heirloom. The lessons and knowledge of the past experiences can be valuable.
I have recently come to know someone in my family that is in school near where I live. A strong desire welled up within me to want to get to know this person and share anything I have. I have come to realize that the openness I was willing to show was well received, but a bit uncomfortable for the recipient. It has to be a two way street. I woke up to this and found I could adjust. Not everyone feels as I do, so I could smother someone.
The machismo in me then kicks in and I think...I don't need to feel rejected or silly, I'll just turn away.
A couple I knew when I was overseas in the military had taught me about being open with people. You take a risk when you reveal yourself to others. You leave yourself open to possible hurt. They also taught me and I was soon to find out that the rewards of that lifestyle far outweighed the hurt.
The times I felt hurt or as I said above rejected or foolish, I realize tell me I am living more fully than if I were so careful of what others thought of me. This openness is who I want to be. To live this way is a gradual change and never overnight, but so far I can walk this road.
posted by praiseage at 3:41 PM
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