Little Encouragement And Thrown Out Of Bed

When I was in the U. S. Air Force, I spent two wonderful years stationed near Frankfurt, Germany at a base called Rhein Main. I loved Germany and would have extended my time there as long as I could, if I hadn’t felt led by God to marry my wife.

I would visit a hospitality home for military singles on every free weekend I had. It was the gathering place of my family overseas. The house near the Taunus Mountains contained the perfect environment for a lot of my spiritual growth.

I learned to start being more open about myself and to cultivate my interest in other people. I learned to offer and even risk more of myself to try to deepen my established friendships and to make new ones. It was a life-changing time influenced by the couple that was in charge of the home.

I say all this to tell you of a surprising discovery I made about myself.

I came back to Germany from leave to the United States with the newfound knowledge that I had found the girl God wanted me to marry. I joyfully announced this to everyone at the hospitality home only to be met with stony silence. Um, hello? This is supposed to be good news here!

Their lack of enthusiasm came from the experience of many guys foolishly thinking they had found their soul mates when in fact these turned out to be unhealthy relationships. Casually, my friends began to ask an occasional question about my girl, but no real fuss was made. It wasn’t until my future wife came to visit me in Germany, and I brought her to the home to meet everyone that some credence was given to my claim.

Years later, I met with that wonderful couple after the home was no longer in existence. They had a huge extended family of over a decade of young soldiers and airmen that had passed through their care. Many are still in contact with them--so many, in fact, it’s hard for them to remember who was attending the home at the same time.

They mentioned to me that at the time I had announced I had found my future wife, they saw an immediate change in me. I stopped flirting with the girls and kept my relationships with them in proper perspective. This had surprised the couple, and the memory stayed with them over the years.

This caused me to realize that hearing from God on this important decision of who I was to marry, turned out to be one of the first permanent pieces of my life to fall into place. I became more focused on who God wanted me to be.

Without that knowledge and my obediently following through and marrying my wife, I never would have been so blessed as a husband and father. This was one of the deepest desires of my heart that God brought to the best possible reality.

--

One of the funny things to happen to me at the hospitality home was during one overnight weekend. The guys slept in the basement of the house where there were a half dozen bunks. About twelve guys could sleep there and about six girls were given a bed on the second floor.

This particular night, I was in the bed above one of my best friends in Germany. He and I were stationed at the same base.

As I was sleeping, I felt my bed rise off the supports and I started to wake up. The next thing I knew, I was tipped over and pressed against the wall by the bed I had been sleeping in. I managed to stand up as the light came on to see my friend looking around groggily. He and I immediately put my bed back on top of his and went back to sleep.

In the morning, I asked him what had happened that night. He told me he had dreamt of being in an underground cave-in and tried to push all the rocks and boulders off of himself with great effort. That’s how I was thrown out of my bed in the middle of the night. We really like to tease my friend, and this was just more ammunition.

In later years, my friend became one of a new wave of missionaries to go into the Soviet Union after their economic collapse. He had worked hard to complete his education and ordination to do this. I admire him very much.

Bohemian Avenue #5

Reese sat over his sandwich and coffee in the Saint Clair Diner in Highland Park. It was in the afternoon, and he saw that some of the “suits” from downtown Saint Paul were coming in for an evening meal before getting an early start on their weekend. Once the surrounding tables were occupied, he could take his pick of conversations to listen in on. He thought himself more of an observer of human nature than an eavesdropper.

He became interested in the couple across the aisle. There was a young man sitting with an older woman. Reese guessed that there was about ten years’ difference in their ages.

She seemed to have established a mentoring relationship with the young man, but it seemed obvious to Reese she was interested in him romantically as well.

Memories of when Reese was younger came to his mind. He had been a buyer in an office supply business in a town far from his home and away from all his friends and family.

He had joined the community choir to meet people and pursue his love of music in his spare time. There he had met among others, an older woman who worked near his apartment building. They became friends when he accepted her offer to start picking him up for choir practices.

The first time had set the tone for all the other choir evenings. She hadn’t had dinner and proposed the idea of going to a nice restaurant before practice started. They fell into the habit of having dinner together every choir night after that.

Her name was Elizabeth, though everyone in choir seemed to call her Betsie. She hated to be called by that name and insisted Reese call her by her proper name. She was a school psychologist and each night she came directly from work dressed in an elegant woman’s suit. He had always preferred seeing her in the suit as opposed to the dresses she wore for choir performances.

Over many weeks, the two of them had gotten to know each other and enjoyed each other’s company. They started taking drives through the nearby mountains after choir rehearsals and they listened to Reese’s Fleetwood Mac tapes in her tape deck. They especially liked singing along with the song “Dreams”.

“Thunder only happens when it’s raining

Players only love you when they’re playing

Women, they will come and they will go

When the rain washes you clean, you’ll know.”

As time went on, Reese felt that Elizabeth was showing signs of being attracted to him. Maybe she wanted more than just a friendship between them.

One night, when they had stopped at Elizabeth’s apartment for something, Reese took what he thought was the right moment to kiss her and see what came of it. She didn’t resist, but there wasn’t much in the way of electricity at first until Reese kissed her again.

Choir nights took a new romantic turn after that night. It was exciting to be with an older woman. He felt more like a man able to accomplish any goal he set for himself. That was a potent drink to imbibe.

She began to ask him questions about himself seeming to try to understand him. She had asked why he had kissed her that night and other questions, like what he wanted from their relationship. Reese was bewildered that he could answer very few of her questions. It began to occur to him that maybe he wasn’t really sure of what he wanted or even who he was.

Maybe this relationship wasn’t such a good idea after all. He thought of the possibility of his identity being lost behind hers if he stayed with her. He didn’t want to be known just as her husband or boyfriend.

Now with these new thoughts, he was sure he was making a mistake, but he didn’t express his feelings on the matter, because he also felt guilty for starting something he now felt he couldn’t or wouldn’t commit to.

Elizabeth seemed to sense his conclusions, but was also infatuated enough with Reese to want to cling to the relationship. This aggravated his feelings of guilt and frustration with his inability to know his own mind. He felt rubbed raw emotionally at times.

It all came to a conclusion the night Elizabeth showed up at his apartment door unexpectedly. He noticed that she was a little teary-eyed and more quiet than usual. When he asked her what was wrong, she replied that it was just her time of the month.

As they sat together on the couch, the thought struck Reese that it had been almost a month ago when things had gotten out of hand one night in Elizabeth’s apartment. Though she had never let on, he realized that maybe she had thought she could be pregnant. Now the evidence proved otherwise. Was she disappointed or relieved?

Here was a situation that could have forced him to make definite decisions about his life before he even knew what he wanted. His desires would have had to take a back seat to the reality of being a father and husband. That would have been the only answer Reese could have lived with had she indeed been pregnant.

Reese had told Elizabeth that from then on, they shouldn’t see each other outside of choir anymore. There had been anger and mostly tears on her part, but the decision to discontinue a romantic relationship became mutual.

It was hard to believe that it had happened ten years ago.

Now he watched and listened to the couple at the table across the aisle from him and saw his own story reflected there.

He had been the player Fleetwood Mac sang about. His ego had led him to hurt the woman he hadn’t really loved, but had actually used. Reese never wanted to be the “player” again.

Stepping outside of the Saint Clair Diner, Reese got into his car and started the engine. Fleetwood Mac was on the radio ending their song with the words:

“When the rain washes you clean, you’ll know. You’ll know….”