Spare change?

I was walking in a park a couple of weeks ago when a woman came up to me from a small group of friends who were obviously camped on a picnic table for an unknown amount of time. She asked me for a couple dollars for a bus ride.

Now all kinds of thoughts run through your head. Is she scamming me for money for some sort of illicit habit? Does she not want to work for a living, but rely on the kindness of people she puts “the touch” on?

I felt I should give her the money. In my head there were these imaginary people scolding me for just wanting to give her the money. I have a couple of dollars that I knew wouldn’t break me or rob my own family of their basic needs. Why not?

Then the “moral missionary” and “pastor” from my upbringing speak up. I should make this some noble gesture as a “witness” for Christ. I could impart some life changing gospel message to her as I give her this money. Is that so important to justify giving money to someone that might actually be scamming me?

This “moral missionary” and “pastor” persona in my head is a legalistic, judgmental jerk in the eyes of someone who finds themselves in a tight enough spot to ask someone for money on the street.

I can remember spending my cash foolishly then coming up short and feeling the need to ask for money to cover my shortage for something I thought was more urgent than the foolishness I had put money into.

Real need or not, why all this turmoil?

I had to go back to the initial response. I felt I should give the money. It was God’s still, small voice speaking to me. I truly believed that.

The “moral missionary” and “pastor” persona could just as easily been the voice of someone other that God, as is the case with fellow believers more often than you would think or hope.

Maybe I compromised a bit. With the money, I gave her a “God bless” to pacify the “moral missionary” and went on my way.